Today I looked at you and felt my heart flutter.
It’s the same feeling I felt when I first laid my eyes on you three and half years ago on the day you were born.
To be honest, my heart doesn’t flutter every time I look at you.
There are some days I am too stressed, too tired, or too busy feel gratitude.
Parenting is not always butterflies and roses.
However, in this simple moment of silence as I take a moment to actually listen and look at you at the end of the day, my heart is full and my eyes are teary.
You are growing up before my eyes.
Like a train blowing at full speed there’s no stopping it.
There’s no stopping you! And it’s only going to go by faster with the arrival of baby brother come Summer.
I remember vividly wishing and longing for the days that you would become more independent and able to do things without me. I was exhausted – one hot mess of a mom, a juggler trying to keep motherhood, career and marriage afloat.
Blessed, but stressed.
I thought, “One day things will get easier; One day she won’t be so ‘needy’.”
Today on the drive back from school, I innocently asked her if she missed me. Every day she says, “Yes, momma!”
Today, she said, “No. I had fun with my friends!”
My heart took a hit.
Oh Life, you confuse me so! I guess we do always want what we can’t have.
On this day, as I look at my strong-willed, independent and full of spirit daughter, I realized that the “one day” I was looking forward has now become “today!”
How slowly life feels yet how quickly it flies by.
Where did those years go?
Once I sucked up my pride, I was truly happy for her. She has a great heart and loves everyone. Maybe I wasn’t such a hot mess mom after all.
We have made it this far, kid. You have changed my world for the better. This “one day” has become the “best day” of my life (even though I want freeze time).
I know that some day I will miss today for the same reasons.
One day it will be pulling teeth to get her to talk about her school day and I will be remembering this day!
On another day, I will be stressed with her teenage ways.
There will be days I look forward to the future so I can escape the struggle of the present.
But on this day, I am happy that I was able to pause, breathe and take in this sweet moment – even if it was only for a a brief moment in time.
Don’t let life pass you by without relishing in the sweet, simple moments that you fought so hard to get.