Life has a funny way of teaching lessons. Although it’s not too funny when you are in the midst of that life lesson.
Let’s be real. I wish for silence almost every day even if it’s a mere five minutes in the shower. The introvert side of me enjoys my quiet time but that is limited when you have young children.
Recently, I woke up tired and not really ready to take on the day. Both kids didn’t sleep very well and I was mentally and physically spent.
The morning was loud. Very loud. My daughter was extra talkative and a bit demanding. Blog deadlines were mounting as well as the chores I had neglected over the weekend because I was too busy living my life instead of doing my tasks. That’s the trade off right?
Sipping on my coffee, I dreamed of having silence and being able to work for hours.
I fantasized about what it would be like going back to work outside the house to simply have a moment of silence checking emails before the hustle and bustle began.
But, that was a dream.
It was one of those days where my kids needed me so the work will have to wait. And, that is okay because that is what being a stay at home mom is about. They need me and I need to be present but on this day I wasn’t feeling it.
I posted online that I wanted was a solo trip to the library to sit in silence instead of a night out. I was half way joking but not really.
Be careful what you wish for.
Later that day, when I stopped nursing my son I felt a sharp pain in my lower left side of my back.
That’s weird. Maybe it will go away once I stand up.
I asked my husband to take the baby.
The pain moved to the front side of my body near my ovaries. It came fast and hard.
My husband joked that my period was coming back.
I said, “That would be a good feeling compared to this pain!”
I went to lay down and the pain got worse.
It was so bad that I could barely move. When I eventfully stood up,I felt numb in my face and feet. I wanted to throw up and felt faint.
It’s time to go to the ER.
My sweet friend and neighbor rushed over to watch the kids while we went to the hospital. Thank goodness for her. She is such a blessing to us in so many ways.
Leaving my daughter who was crying was tough. She shouldn’t have to see her mom in pain.
Fast forward, I had a kidney infection, but that isn’t what this post is about.
It’s about my life lesson, remember?
Before I got my walking papers and medicine, I sat in complete silence with my husband by my side laying down in the hospital.
Weren’t we here in the hospital a mere two months ago having a baby? Why are we back here so quickly?
Because you wanted your quiet time.
I got my silence alright. A silence that I desperately wanted earlier that day. The only thing I could hear where my thoughts and the beeping noises a hospital makes. And my thoughts were loud within my head.
I hated leaving my children so abruptly, I loathed having to ask my friend to drop everything to help me out and most importantly I disliked the look of worry I caused my husband to have in that quick moment.
In the end, my health scare turned out to be minimal and treatable. Thankfully I did not have a kidney stone as I have heard that is more painful than giving birth.
Pre-kids a hospital visit wouldn’t have emotionally effected me as much. All I could think about was how painful a life without them would be or vice versa for them.
I know I am being dramatic with my feelings. After all it was only a UTI infection (which I had no symptoms for) that turned into a kidney infection.
In the past I joked about how nice a hospital stay would be to get much needed rest and help. This moment proved to be the worst way to get it and I definitely wasn’t laughing this time.
My experience put my complaining and selfish needs into perspective.
I got to go home with medicine that healed my condition. Others do not.
Why are others healed while others aren’t?
All I could think about was how hard it must be for parents or children whose medical concerns catapulted into a serious condition.
The isolation, the sound of silence and dry air sounds like a dream to those who need a break but it’s not. I couldn’t leave that room fast enough.
I will trade the silence for my chaotic, loud life any day.
Looks can be deceiving.
Be careful what you wish for.
NEVER take things for granted, especially good health.
Have you had a moment in your life that changed your perspective on something that you thought you wanted?