Ever feel like throwing in the towel? Do you have days where you question everything you are doing? Why are you doing them? Does it even make sense? Suddenly, the confident, can-do person you know you are has disappeared and you are looking at someone in the mirror you don’t recognize.
Perhaps, something or someone triggered you to feel this way. It could have been a manic morning where everything went wrong or it was simply scrolling on your social media feed.
Why is everyone living such amazing, happy, and fulfilling lives? Is it just me or is everyone richer, happier and simply better than me? How is that one person excelling so much more than I am in this career?
As a blogger that posts happy photos, I should know better. Social media is the highlight reel of our lives after all.
Regardless of how you came to the point of self-doubt and confusion, one thing is certain. You probably want out!
After spending a few weeks in this frozen state where I contemplated all of my life choices, I finally got out. I’ve seen my businesses grow faster and in more ways than I can imagine. What if I just gave up? What a sad thought. Below I share how I was able to snap out of it!
Disclaimer: This is not me. This kitchen is way too clean. However, I do feel her pain!
Try these 8 tips to get out of your pity party now
Stop comparing
Put down your phone and stop following people or companies that make you feel like crap. Chances are these accounts aren’t doing this on purpose. They are living their lives just like they should. But for some reason, you feel icky when you see their status updates. Just unfollow or snooze them for 30 days and these triggers will be gone. Your social media feed is valuable real estate. Keep your feed positive, happy and motivating. Give yourself a reality check and know that social media is not always 100% authentic.
That mom that has herself together with tons of money and vacations isn’t perfect. She has struggles just like you and I. That lady that has rock hard abs worked her ass off to get them. Good for her for showing them off. We as viewers do not see every facet of everyone’s lives – both good and bad.
Keep that in mind and these triggers won’t get to you as much.
If you can’t handle it, perhaps take a social media sabbatical to refocus. Remember, you don’t have to join every party you are invited to. Leave groups that bring bad energy into your daily life. Focus on you. If they aren’t helping you grow or being supportive, it’s time to leave. I don’t expect people to follow my accounts if I am not providing some sort of value to their lives. I welcome those to unfollow me if I am bringing them down in some way. No feelings hurt here!
Simply stop doing (for a bit)
Have you ever found yourself standing still looking at the long list of tasks you have to do? Overwhelmed, you simply can’t focus and don’t do them.
Take a short break from work to find out why you started doing this in the first place.
Has it become all work and no fun?
If you find yourself not loving what you do anymore, pause and write down your WHY.
Why did you get started? How can you get back to your roots? Look at your path and see where it got off track.
Write down your WHY on paper. Next, write goals that are aligned with your WHY. Then, write down HOW you will reach those goals. Be specific.
If what you are currently doing does not fall into those goals and priorities then it’s time to say goodbye to them.
Not ready to set goals or find your Why again? No problem. Stop doing for a bit and they will come back to you. When I was stuck I started reading again. I haven’t read a book since I got pregnant with Drew.
I read a few inspiring books such as Girl, Wash Your Face and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Both helped me snap out of my funk in its own way. If books aren’t your thing, that is fine. Find a hobby that will spark your passion again.
Start moving
Sounds silly, but it’s true. When you get moving, your body produces endorphins that make you feel better. Make an appointment with yourself to walk at least 30 minutes a day. Listen to an inspiring book or podcast for personal development. This is an area I slack on the most. I have so many excuses for not working out. The baby is sick, my daughter has so many activities, my blog is calling my name. The list goes on and on. I can’t remember a time I left a workout regretting it. So, why do I not do it more… Excuses.
Be coachable, try new things
Sometimes we play the victim.
Why aren’t things going my way?
Everyone else is growing, making money, taking amazing vacations and I am stuck here wondering how I am going to pay all the bills. Everyone is prettier. I am sitting here looking like I fell out of a trash can. What happened?
You may be thinking, “I work so hard yet I am going nowhere.”
Here’s the thing, you may be working hard, but are you working smart? Also, you are most likely going somewhere but not at the rate you want. We must be patient, which is one of my weaknesses.
There are so many things that I know well, but I would be naive to think I know EVERYTHING. It’s impossible. We all have our special gifts and talents. If we want to get out of our funks, grow as a person and business owner we must seek advice from those who (GASP!) are doing it better than us. That’s a hard pill to swallow for people like me that are stubborn and think they don’t need help.
Here’s the deal, once you get off your high horse and seek advice, take a course or go to training, you will learn something new. Remember how exciting it was to learn how to ride your bike, drive your car or swim for the first time? Now these tasks are mundane, but when things are new they are exciting. If that is what it takes you to get out of your funk, take all the courses, sign up for mentorships, meet up with others in your field doing amazing things and for the love of everything tell them how amazing they are doing. They need to hear that and I bet they will learn something from you too.
I also was open to trying new things that were completely different than my blogging business. I now sell Maskcara makeup for fun. Hell has frozen over. Never in a thousand years would I think I would be doing live makeup tutorials, but here we are. (Join me over at Beauty Bosses where we learn and share makeup tips). I’ve met so many encouraging and beautiful (both inside and out) women in this new found tribe. This is not about the money for me. It’s about learning something new and hiding my wrinkles and bags under my eyes.
I also redesigned my website to show more off more of my personality. That sparked motivation I haven’t felt in months. It was money well spent to get my spark back.
Show gratitude
This is hard to do when you feel low. There is always someone that is doing worse off than you. Be thankful for the gifts and things you have in front of yourself. Give yourself grace. Make a list of things you are grateful for and keep it nearby for times you need a reminder.
Let certain people know about your pity party
Don’t be ashamed. Tell people you trust what is going on. You would be surprised to know there are are few others feeling the same exact way as you. I lost count of how many other fellow bloggers told me they were feeling the same way. It made me feel like I wasn’t completely off base here. It’s normal for people to have highs and lows. Instead of fearing these low moments, let’s talk it out and find ways to motivate each other to find ways to get out of them. Let them know about your pity party, but do not invite them to join. The goal is to get OUT of the pity party. Remember, misery loves company so choose to share this news wisely with people who will lift you up.
Reevaluate and make changes
After you have done some soul searching, re-evaluating of your personal and professional areas, it’s time to make some changes. This part is hard. You don’t want to feel like you are hurting anyone’s feelings and changing habits is hard. Write down how you intend on changing your path. Do you say “yes” to everything leaving you exhausted to do the things you really need to for yourself? Stop doing that. Are there tasks that you loathe? Time to outsource those to free you up to do the things you love. Are there people draining you? Friends that aren’t keeping up with their part of the deal? Time to re-evaluate your tribes both personally and professionally. You don’t have to be rude about it and make a scene or anything. Just gracefully divert your attention to other areas.
Just keep going
Make progress every day, big or small. Those tiny efforts will add up over time. If you don’t move at all you will not see momentum. Stop making excuses and put yourself first. Get outside of your head and do things that make you uncomfortable. Because that my friends is when life gets really exciting and doors open up like crazy! If anything pops out at you, I hope it’s this piece of advice. Don’t give up! If I would have given up last month, I would not have experienced my best month income wise since I started this blog seven years ago! You never know what is around the corner.
Remember, failure is a success in progress. (Not sure who said that, but I saw it online and thought it was great!) I am sure I will get stuck in another pity party soon, but I am determined not to stay on a permanent basis.
Now get out of your funk, get moving and start doing amazing things. Can’t wait to see what’s next for you!
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